“I am completely and utterly lost”, with her heart thumping hard she combed the crowd to find her mother and her siblings. Love Gaze
“Where are you?” Panic filled her eyes though she didn’t want anyone to spot her nervousness and ask her.
Wiping away her tears, she stood amid the madding crowd and looked again for some familiar faces.
“Oh, my god, you are here” someone yelled at her. A hand pulled her toward her mother. Sobbing relentlessly she hugged her mother.
“………..a long whistle” Sheila woke up with a jerk. She is not in a crowded place. With the streaks of drool on her face, she has slipped into deep sleep. With a sheepish grin, she wiped her face. A strong stench knocked her nostrils and made her guess the bus had stopped for lunch.
It has long been since she laughed heartily. Something or other happened every day that tasted her patience and ridiculed her tolerance. In addition, hormonal changes played havoc on her nerves, which often led to emotional bursts. People around her started to maintain a distance and literally avoided her. That pushed her into loneliness, worsening her situation.
Her pouting lips that demanded attention lost the charm. Disturbed sleep at night made her eyes tired and dark circles permanently stayed around her eyes. Even though she wanted to be physically and mentally active, she could not enjoy small, small things that made her happy and always smiling.
********
Sheila could not believe her eyes. Whatever that she desperately tried to avoid happened. Her eyes felt dizzy, she felt the palpitation and an emotional spasm ravaged her brain cells.
The bus was packed with an impatient crowd who wanted to reach its destination as early as possible. Though he recognized Sheila and could feel the flutter in his heart also, the duty at hand diverted him from sending further glances at her.
The packed bus always raised unknown fear within her and she managed to control herself by chanting some mantras. The accident that involved a bus crashing down from a flyover somehow kept her at tender hooks whenever she boarded a crowded bus.
The bus breathed salty and it suffocated her for a while. Though she managed to stand near the open window of the bus, the evening breeze could not help her feel relaxed.
The weekend traffic on the road stretched the travelling time and it lengthened the time to escape from his eyes. His startled eyes showed the pain he felt when I left him shattered without a smile.
For years that incident haunted her and filled her heart with regret. But she never got the opportunity to express herself and get his excuse.
“Would you mind waiting for a few seconds?” His eyes pleaded. To avoid an embarrassing situation, she searched for an excuse.
The heavy evening traffic made the bus move slowly. The automatic signal blinked green unusually after long seconds. Sheila made use of this time. She climbed down the bus and disappeared among the crowd that walked on the service lane.
But luck did not favour her the next day. She left her office around 6 am and walked toward the nearby bus stop. She always enjoyed her early morning walks listening to the songs of birds and looking at the morning activity that filled every place.
The bus came and she got on the bus. She sat at the window seat and looked ahead to get her ticket. Sheila could see the broad shoulders of a uniformed person only. After a while, he turned and walked toward her.
Sheila got the shock of her life.
“Tickets” his voice vibrated in the chilled morning air. With trembling hands, she gave him the coins to get the ticket. His eyes looked at her for a few seconds. Without a word, he moved away.
Sheila’s heart raced with emotions. His indifferent expression came as an answer for avoiding him the day before. Without much effort, her eyes filled with tears that blurred her vision. How long will this cold war happen between us?
Love Gaze
When he came to a compromise, Sheila moved away from him. When she was ready to compromise, he moved away. That day she somehow got the strength to resolve that situation.
A few stops ahead of her bus stop, she got up from her place and moved toward his seat. With his right hand resting on the sidebar, he was looking outside the window.
“Let me break the ice” she murmured and placed her right hand on his right hand. He turned toward her immediately.
“What the hell do you need?” His voice hit like a command in a military parade. “Nothing” she replied without taking away her hand.
“I want to put an end to this cold war between us. Let us be friends.” Sheila replied.
“Cold war” He looked at her with a sarcastic smile.
“It is you who are always indifferent and you are blaming me” He chided.
Her eyes met him with the courage that she somehow gathered a few seconds ago.
The aftershave lotion developed an aura around him and his forehead bright with the streak of red turmeric-kumkum captured her attention. Sheila remembered the lines of poetry that she wrote about him. She could not help smiling.
He turned his right hand and pressed her hand with a gesture that told how much he missed her and how desperate he was to meet her again. Despite the early morning breeze she perspired profusely and her legs felt weak.
With ease, he led her to the nearby seat. With his usual brisk whistle, he stopped the bus and helped her get down from the bus with grace.
It was not a dream but a reality that made her fears dissolve in the early morning sunrays.
Growing up in an environment enriched with colours of nature adorned with sounds of machines, I enjoyed life with all challenges. Nature is always a great teacher that teaches empathy to live and let live others. Though I am now living in an urban environment, the lesson that nature taught me motivates and allows me to keep on writing. I will always remember the cool afternoons in the shades of trees that made me write more on love.
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